Her nose is too big
Her lips are too thin
She’s gained weight. Are you pregnant?
She has no ass, nice boobs though
She’s a 6, you could do better
You look Asian (and yes it was supposed to be an insult)
These are all things that have been said about me. Some to my face and some behind my back. The list isn’t long but I wouldn’t want to know the things that I haven’t heard.
Because in my lowest of lows, I have said these things to myself along with various other painful words that I didn’t deserve to hear; from myself or anyone.
I hear these “flaws” as if the person saying them doesn’t have flaws of their own.
I hear these “flaws” and I review them in the mirror. Question their importance. Question validity and their impact on how I view myself.
As I stand in front of a body length mirror. I look at myself.
I see the nose that was gifted to me from my grandmother.
I see my too thin for some lips and I admire the beauty mark that sits on my bottom lip. I smile at myself and see my beautiful big white teeth that have never been touched by braces.
I look at my flat butt and laugh at the bannock bum jokes. I assess the little curves of my body and I am grateful that my body works. I can wake up in the morning and move as I please. I can go to yoga and enjoy the movement of my body. I have a body that I am proud of and I’m glad to call home.
I think of the rating that has been given to me and wonder what would possess such words to leave your mouth. What a misogynistic concept. To provide a woman a rating based solely on her exterior. Have you heard the saying “beauty fades”. I will grow old and you will too. We will both turn to dust. The only difference is that I will seen the beauty of the souls that I’ve met.
The idea that having a similar appearance to a certain culture should be a hurtful comment. Sure, I understood what you meant by “Asian” you meant Chinese. I’m sorry sir but did you know that Asia is a continent? It’s filled with different faces of beauty. This comment didn’t swing with the pain you intended; it was a compliment. For their lands and oceans are filled with Queens.
And yes all of these comments, one by one, cut a little bit deep but surely not as deep as your pain runs to believe that your thoughts and opinions are the beauty standards of billions of people that reside on this planet. So when your thoughts aren’t as shallow and your pain isn’t as deep. I will be here with a loving embrace. Basking in the glory of my beauty that is beyond skin deep.
Ambrace 