Who are you? In the early mornings before the rest of the world is awake.
Who are you? When you go to bed at night feeling the energy around you from earlier that day.
What is your purpose when you are alone?
What is your purpose when the opinions from other feel too strong?
What is your purpose after you find a new interest or hobby?
Why are you here? What makes you, YOU? What are the things that make you dance? How do you cope when the world feels to heavy?
These are the questions I ask myself as I think about why I’m doing this blog.
None of them have clear answers, as I am an ever changing canvas.
So we can get back to basics:
I am Amber and I want to share how I got here. To this blog and this mind space.
As a young girl, I started writing in a journal. I’ve continued that practice into my adulthood.
Every new journal I start. I never know what to say. A blank page, a blank book, a new start.
I always start with who I am and quickly write down some confused thoughts of why I’m writing. It’s my personal introduction to that new book.
I didn’t start my open journal, Ambrace, that way. My anxious mind and my broken heart led the way with my first 2 posts but I love what I did all the same.
So now, we can take a few steps back and I’ll tell you more about me.
Am I qualified to be a writer of any kind? No.
Am I a good writer? I don’t know. My mom is the only one that reads my posts before I publish them and she’s say they’re amazing (and truly that’s all the matters).
As I ask those questions I realize that’s not what I’m here for. I’m not here to question myself or my abilities. I may not be the best or the most knowledgeable but I am here.
With so many opinions and self help anything and everything (blogs, books, shows, movies, YouTube channels, Instagram, TikTok. The options are endless). What makes me any different from the rest? It’s the thing makes us each different. Our individuality, our perceptions, our upbringings, our ideas, our minds. There is nothing more or less that I have to offer than anyone else. I just am. I am here. I am writing. I am doing.
And all I know is I have a story like so many of us do and I want to share it… to heal myself and maybe to heal others.
At some point you have to stick all of your fears, thoughts and expeditions into the fuck-it buck-it and go!!
So join me as I ramble about my life, who I was and who I’m becoming. I will discuss my perception of the world, spiritual growth, Indigenous culture, my journey to sobriety and whatever my mind thinks up that day 🙂
Under the “About Me” tab you’ll see the following message:
My name is Shimmering Water Woman. My English name is Amber. I come from the Deer clan. I currently reside in small town Ontario but my home is a nearby First Nation community.
My Great-Great Grandmother was a medicine woman, my Great Grandmother was a Residential School Survivor and my Grandmother attended Indian Day School and she is a survivor of colonizer induced trauma.
I am, as all Indigenous peoples are today, the survivor of genocide. I stand and breathe the pride of Indigenous resilience.
I am here to tell my journey of self-discovery that turned into self-love.
The first paragraph is how we introduce ourselves as Indigenous peoples. Our name, our clan, our home and where we reside.
I go on to provide information about my grandmothers. Whenever I go to an gathering and someone doesn’t know me. They’ll say “well who is your mom?” If they don’t know my mom “who is your grandmother” and so on until the connection is made. This serves a dual purpose,
1. for the hereditary line, the connection, the impact when we share that line with other Indigenous people
2. for the Western world to see the impact of my history, Indigenous history, Canadian history.
I want whoever takes the time to read this blog to know that I am grateful for you. I’m grateful that you have chosen to explore this blog and I hope you keep coming back.
Ambrace 